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[2.6.07 - 6.11pm]

But isn't it too late already.
Dare to Dream

happy new year [1.1.07 - 6.19pm]
First of all, Happy New Year.

Now, I have 7 days til I see my Nicholas, 6 Until I go back to his house and stay the night for like... hmm bymyself.

So, last night I had a tiny lil party, and a few people were over here, besides the Fab 5 ( Me, Sha Britt, Steph & Matt). There were some of each of our friends there. Then, I got a surprise visit, from a new friend. She's hott shit, and Im glad were cool kids.

I called Nick for new years, but of course he wont get it cause hes in england, and he wanted to call me too, but none of his friends brought their cellular devices. Its okay, I just hope next year I will be able to be with the one I love on such amusing holidays. I can only hope.

As for the past few days, my Christmas wish has slowly becoming true, an I thank Nick greatly for it. But good is, he has no idea what it is!!!!

Pizza's here.

I love you baby

♥ alyssa
Dare to Dream

5 down... 9 to go [12.30.06 - 6.36am]
So, last night i didnt fall asleep until about 430/5 am... yeay again.

I woke up to a cute lil myspace message, and i waited for his call since i read that! I went to moms to do some laundry, and then i ended up hanging out with shaina and chillen at ma dukies house for a while. we planned a lil get together with me and her and her sister and her best friend & bf tomro. not so much a party, just really hanging out more or less.

I miss my baby love so much. I truly love my nickkkkkkk. :0)

9 days left yeay.

♥ ilu
Dare to Dream

4th Niight [12.29.06 - 2.58am]
Nicholas called me. The stupid ass phone did not ring. it just blinked saying i gotta voice mail.. but he said hed call back later, and im glad he did. i miss his voice hXc. I think it started to hit us both. Not being around people we love. Not saying he doesnt love his family, but hes kinda like cramped up in there.. Im glad hes going out for new years. it will give him something fun to do.

About 10 days left til he comes home. 9 Days til i sleep over his house again.

Miss hiiim lots.

Dare to Dream

Day 3 &4ish [12.28.06 - 10.00pm]
So, Last night i slept at nicks to take care of the kitty & doggie. It was very quiet and lonely. Its weird without the 6 family members plus me haha. Carlos stopped by with Alex and checked in, so i told him that i got the morning covered.

I had a really bad dream, but nicholas told me not to worry about it cause its never gonna be true. i just wish i didnt have to deal with them. i dont know why i have them. i just lovers my nicholas sooo much!!!!
I cant wait until he comes back, then maybe i wont have such odd dreams.

Today i stopped at fridays to get my paycheck, now im only -100$ haha. yeay... cant wait to start working. i start tacorral on friday, next friday. and im working niights so hopefully i can make some sort of cash moneys to at least not be in the negative, then hopefully i can pay my phone and credit card bills.

Tonight, Im not really doing anything. Hopefully have enough energy to make it to the gym one more time.

Ill update later so when the love gets on he can know what ive been doing besides missing him! haha

***It's true we don't know what we've got until its gone, but we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives***


Miss Lyss
♥ 2 - Dare to Dream

Day After Christmas,.... Day 2 [12.27.06 - 5.07am]
Okay, so it's day 2, and it feels like day 60000. I got a phone call at 1ish from my love. It was so nice to hear his voice, and not the voicemail voice. Haha. I miss him dearly. But he let me know what he got for Christmas, and how he's doing and it made me so happy to hear from him.

I dropped off the things for his mum and then I tried to return the shitty gifts I got. But, they only wanted to give me store credit, but I had to go shopping at that time. So I think I am going back tomoro and doing last last minute shopping and wrapping.

I will be stopping at Nick's house tomoro to drop off the presents and play with Banderas & Taffy && Check on the house. I will also stop at Fridays to get my paaycheck and see if I am working in manchester now that I am home.

I found out Im gonna be put on the schedule for Tacorral next week I believe. Then I can make a lil bit of money, even if I dont work at fridays.

Tj is wanting to use the computer, so im gonna let him on.

I miss you dearly and I am glad you are having a great time in England. I hope the weather is good for you and you get all the things you need while you are there. Have an amazing time in York at that store!!!! Can't wait to see you, but it will be closer to hear your voice! Good Morning :0)

**** "Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you." ****


Dare to Dream

Day 1 With No Nick... [12.25.06 - 7.20am]
It hasn't even been 24 hours and I'm already sad.. :0(

It was so hard, hearing his last phone call, and hiis voice for the last time for who knows how long. I can't even check in and see how his flight went..I can't call to say goodnight, so forget sleeping at all. I don't worry too much, but I just, it will be the first time we spend alot of time apart from each other. A whopping 2 weeks. Can I take it?

I should be happy, I get to open gifts tomoro, my brother was telling me tonight how much he loves having me home. He loves being able to walk in the door and say hi and give me a hug. I love him, and Im glad i can spend this Christmas with him.

I just guess it won't be the same, even tho I've never had a Christmas with Nick, it still means alot to me. I hope everything goes well on his trip into England, and I hope he writes too.

You know your phone will have messages from me every night. I can't wait to see you when you get back and I got a good crap exchange gift haha. I knew tonight would come in handy.

ilu so much baby doll! kisses and hugs.

Dare to Dream

another night of tears [12.22.06 - 6.07am]
So, all the girls and a few of the guys decided to go to the club tonight. Blu. yay. If only it was fun. It was alright the first & possibly second song.

I miss stephie and the club back at school..I am starting to want to call school home now. My love is there, my roommate, my good friends, the fun clubs.

Oh, ive never been to a casual club until tonight.

I left after an hour because I missed nicholas wayyyy too much, it wasnt fun. Yay, 15$ for one hour! Im glad since i drove i didnt have to pay! Its no fun without steph. Even with my old friends they just couldnt even get me to smile like niick does.

I wanna go back

1 day until i can be with him

I hate this feeling.. i really do

x3 ilu
Dare to Dream

It's not the same [12.21.06 - 6.43am]
I love home, don't get me wrong. It is just not the same without the people I've been living with for the past 3 months. I just don't feel the same being at home. Maybe it's just withdrawls, maybe its just missing that special someone. I don't know what it is. But being at home sort of makes me feel like I cam going to be in that depressing sort of mood again. I don't want to start on meds again, I just think it needs time to become better. Oh well, things aren't the same, but I only have to wait a month for them to be right again.

I miss him so much, I know I get to see him in like 2 days, but Its completely different than sleeping with him every night, kisses before bed. All the morning and have a good day, do good on your exam. It is definately not what I'm used to, but its just gonna take some getting used to.

It is time to try to sleep again, goodnight all..

Dare to Dream

GOING HOME [12.19.06 - 5.35pm]
I am coming home from school todayyyyy

I am going to miss nick like crazy

I will not miss this tiny room

I will miss my roommate stephie

I hate everything about this school

I miss my nick

I finally get to see my daddie
Dare to Dream

06 survey [12.19.06 - 5.33pm]
In 2006 I have.....

[ ] stayed single
[x] got kissed
[x] kissed someone new
[x] made out
[x] made out in a car
[x] kissed in the snow
[x] kissed in the rain
[x] fell in love
[ ] fell in love with a fool
[x] broke someone else's heart
[x] lost a friend
[x] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] questioned my sexual orientation
[ ] came out of my closet
[ ] got pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[ ] had a divorce
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] met someone that I will never forget
[x] did something I regret
[ ] lost my true love
[ ] lost faith in love
[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[ ] got a promotion
[ ] got a pay raise
[x] changed jobs
[ ] lost my job
[x] quit my job
[x] got a new job
[x] dated a co-worker
[ ] dated my boss
[ I am the boss's daughter ] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[ ] got fired from my job
[ ] got straight A's
[x] met a teacher who I became friends with
[x] met a teacher who I really hate
[x] found the subject I love
[ ] failed a class
[x] cut class
[x] skipped school
[x] got in a fight with a classmate
[x] did something I was proud of
[ ] discovered a new talent
[x] proved myself an idiot
[x] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[x] wrote a poem
[ ] ran a mile
[x] listened to music I couldn’t stand
[x] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[x] went to a sleepover
[ ] went to camp
[ ] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried
[x] laughed till I peed my pants
[ ] flirted shamelessly
[x] had wild uninhibited sex at least once
[x] visited a foreign country
[ ] cooked a disastrous meal
[ ] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[x] went on a diet
[ ] tried to gain weight
[x] dyed my hair
[x] came close to losing my life
[ ] someone close to me died
[x] went to a wild party
[x] drank alcohol
[x] drank alcohol underage
[x] got drunk
[ ] got arrested
[ ] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[x] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[x]saw a favorite band live
[x] did something that I want to tell everyone
[x] experienced something new
[x] made new friends
[x] found out who your real friends are
[x] lied to your parents
[ ] snuck out
[x] got in trouble with police
[x] kissed in a pool, hot tub also
[x] kissed under the stars
[ ] did illegal drugs
[x] got wasted
[x] went to a party
[x] had the time of your life
[x] danced
[ ] fell out of love ]
[x] had a crush on someone
[ ] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool
[x] made a snowman
[x] went snowboarding
[x] went sledding
[ ] slept in past 2pm
[x] held someone’s hand that you care about
[ ] got wasted in a public place
[ ] got wasted in Mexico
[x] gone on vacation
[x] driven a car
[ ] played strip poker
[x] danced in the rain
[ ] got in a car accident
[x] seen someone get in a car accident
[x] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[x] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[ ] got hit by car
[ ] sent someone to the hospital
[x] got a new pet
[x] enjoyed this year overall
Dare to Dream

[11.30.06 - 3.25am]
Yea so shit on me. i know i hjavent updated in a while, ive been quite busy with my amazing boyfriend & his family being front page on the New Haven Register.

&& The hartford current comes out tomoro with the whole family again!!!!

buy some papers!!!

finals are coming up...yeay...
Dare to Dream

Thanksgiving [11.24.06 - 3.31am]
[ mood | awake ]

I woke up at like 9ish, to a text message from Christine saying that she saw Hannah Montana in the Macy's Parade. YEAY. haha.

Then i woke up again at like 12ish, got ready and headed to crystal lake to nikkis parents house. Met her whole family, mostly new, i knew like 1 person lol. It was a good dinner, peaceful with no complaints about the family this, or your cousins so perfect that. I enjoyed the time sitting right next to my father and talking to him the whole time. I miss spending time with him. I also sat next to TJ cause he missed me so much and we got along so well.

I miss my nicholas soo much. Its so weird to not see him. Its like we spend a little piece of everyday together and i love it. now that hes not here, it gets lonely and its sad. i miss him. its so perfect when we are together and when we are apart its like were lost. or something like that.

riight now hes out with amity krew and being safe casue theres sooo many cops out tonight:0)

I am thinking of going 5am shopping with my daddies girlfriend, seems like the cool thing to do when you get older riight?

Tomoro niight is mandys 19th party. I cant wait, i mean to actually see people that i havent seen in years could be both good and bad, but my party buddy christine ( my husbands mother) (( milf )) will be with me so as long as i got her, everything will be alright.

I am going home saturday night, and sleeping over nicks house into sunday. I cant wait. I even brought my blankie over there so we can be warm at night!

** wishing to be the friction in your jeans **

Dare to Dream

much more happy [11.23.06 - 5.10am]
[ mood | that my bf is amazing ]

- I went all the way to bethany to be with my love again
- i missed him so much we just had to go to the movies
- i wish i stayed the night, but i dont wanna catch turkey day traffic
- tenacious d movie was pretty funny
- nick made me sooo happy
- me, myself, and i listend to the most adorable cd on the way home
- i miss my boyfriend
- hes at home missing me
- his internet is down, so i cant talk to him
- i could call him...
- but he has no service

-- Happy Turkey Day

" I'm lost without your light
So i drive, i don't know why
But i drive, from exit to exit "

Dare to Dream

@ Home [11.22.06 - 9.55pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Well, I am at home at daddies until nick wants me to come back.. I will prally be here until sat or sun, but hopefully on sat.

Tomorro is thanksgiving. yeay. another day with out my love.

I am kinda in a bored depressive mood and i dont know how to react.

I think i am going to my highschools football game vs. e hartford tonight with my stephanie.

It will be freezing.

I just wanna curl up in a ball and just sleep until i can see my amazing boyfriend again.

I just dont feel like i wanna be home, i kinda wanna cry.

I dont know why i am feeling like this, but tis the season riight?

-- alone && sad

Dare to Dream

[11.18.06 - 7.36am]
So it was the first bonding night wiuth me an chris ( the new one). i like him sooooo much better then the asshole.
It was fun drinking and hanging out with him like me and steph used to do.

I miss nicholas so much, chris was talking to me about how much he likes steph and im in tears now casue i miss my boyfriend so much and he is the most important thing to me in my whole life. and chris respects him for introducing himslef. i miss my boyfriend and i wish i worked later tomoro so i could spend the night with him, but i guess its okay for tomoro.

I hope hes having fun wiht his friends cause i dont want his friend to think i take up all his time. i just really think i am fallin in love with this boy. he is more than i ever wanted, and more than i ever asked for and i am falloing fo rhime no matter what.

talking to chris made me realise how amaing my boyfriend is and every kiss between the two of us make up make us amazing. you are my boyfriend and will be for such a long time, wont be forever, cause i dont want to be greedy/

I cant wait to see you tomro baybe love.

muah baybeeeee
Dare to Dream

xXxXxXx Nada xXxXxXx [11.14.06 - 11.35pm]
[ mood | doing holiday shopping ]

Mmmm.. the smell of mixed berry oatmeal. My favorite, or at least I hope I like it.
- I have never liked oatmeal until mr. nicholas made me try it. I am not going to lie, i believe i like it more now than i did when i was younger and looked at it like it was baby vomit. Maybe just the idea of mushy hot gooey stuff going down my throat just wasn't appealing to me. It still isnt, thats why my oatmeal has to be a little on the thicker side.

- It is about 6:30ish or so and I am waiting for Nick to get out of work. We are either going to a movie, or hanging out here because nick isnt coming to school tomoro. He needs his baby sleep and to sleep in for once, we all do. Im gonna miss him like hell, but what else is new. I just cant fathom when he goes on tour, or even sooner, goes to england. YIKES!!

- I rented the Family Guy DVD for the 4th season, and Nachooo. Maybe if we dont go out we will watch either of the two. I have quite a busy week this week, especially towards the end.

* Not as busy as the others, but lonely without niick
* Psych && Music
* Maybe lunch with nick after he spends the day cleaning/clearing out things

* Early morning wake up, missing CJ
* Dropping the VW off @ dealership && getting a rental
* Maybe seeing my little brother for a short time
* Driving back for math class && Fire science
* Test in fire science

* Classes til 1
* Work @ 5
* If the car is ready, going home to get it
* Plans??

Oatmeal is ready. Eating then maybe a little rest before picking niick up @ the willough
x's & o's
- me -

~ I miss my babe ~

Dare to Dream

[11.14.06 - 5.59am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Mmm.. I guess he does read it. Who knew.

So, I updated my layout a bit.. not so much..

I got bored, couldn't see anything further than 10 inches from my face, so i decided to look back into my friends page, and read old entries.

Let me tell you,

My baby can write like no other.

I am tired, feeling a bit better than earlier, but not too too much.

He has no idea what he does to me...none.
- butterflies
- dizzyness
- loss of breath
- oh when i hear his ringtone, i get a headrush sitting up to get it in the am
- the smile i get around him is truly genuine
- funny faces make me smile
- being idiots together and acting like.. that word we cant say around someone
- nuzzling his armpit ( sick but sweet)
- just laying next to him makes my world spin
- i love taking pictures (serious && silly, i just wish we would take more)
- first love that i actually was considered friends with his friends ( it means more than you think to me)
- i wanna show him that he is an amazing person, dispite what he, or anyone else makes himself think

If my little brother can see it in my eyes, no one else can see my future better than him. I love him with all my heart, and he has yet to believe someone has even come remotely close to this boy i have now:

NSrider15: can i come to skool with u again
x dRy uR EyEs x: if it works out then yes
NSrider15: if i do ill bring my board and me and nick will sk8 again
NSrider15: ok alyssa i love you
x dRy uR EyEs x: i love you too tj
NSrider15: and i love my big chunk of niggaliciousness (nick)
x dRy uR EyEs x: aww
x dRy uR EyEs x: i really do love him too tj, you have no idea
NSrider15: i really do too
NSrider15: hes the best otts them all
NSrider15: the only one who was remotely close was pete
x dRy uR EyEs x: yeah thats what i think
NSrider15: but nick just shot and stabbed then raped themall
x dRy uR EyEs x: haha awesome baby
NSrider15: i love you alyssa
NSrider15: and remember
x dRy uR EyEs x: love you too
NSrider15: just sit tight im gonna need u to keep time come on just snap snap snap your fingers for me good good now were making some progress come on just tap tap tap ur toe to the beat
x dRy uR EyEs x: aww youre the cutest goodnight hunnie

My little brother is the best and he knows me more than anyone else. He knows I wanna be happier than anything and right now it is my love who makes me happier than anything and i would do anything to stay with him...nothing short of forever (but im not gonna get greedy)

** I miss you more than words could say **
** I am determined to stay {that girl} **

Goodnight moon
-- kiss kiss && bang bang --

Dare to Dream

I should be sleeping [11.13.06 - 7.32am]
[ mood | awake ]

I guess I have too much on my mind like always before bed.
At first I couldn't sleep without talking to hiim.
Then I talked to him and went into bed cause he went to bed.

As I was lying in bed, I couldn't help but thiink of so many things i need to do, or i need to save up for, what bills i have to pay, when i go home, where to go for turkey day, just wayy too much for 230am.

Then i drifted of to Christmas land, where i started to think of what to get who for christmas. I know he doesn't want me to spend a lot of money on him, because he doesnt have a lot of money to spend on me back. I could careless. Money doesnt mean shit to me unlike other people. I am not materialistic at all, and the little things could make me the happiest on Dec. 25th, or whenever it is, seeing as my love will be in england without me cause i dont have the money this time around. " Those three words, are said too much, than not enough..." That would be the ideal gift... Making my 18th christmas the best ever with my favorite person. But I dont want to get greedy.

I am thinking of taking classes at MCC for the winter if it works out the way i plan.

I wonder if anyone even reads this.

I wonder if he reads this.

Oh well. I will try to sleep now... I highly doubt it will happen

-- i wanna be that girl --

♥ 1 - Dare to Dream

[10.30.06 - 11.46pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

I have an amazing boyfriend.

Everything for the past 2 months have been going so good for me. I work at friday's and making money and starting off coming out of my little debt i have and doing really good in school.

There is a new boyfriend of mine. Simply amazing. I know it is what every girl says when they get a new boy in their life, but honestly, my baby is the best! Even if he thinks his baby is the best, i know i am so right.

With him i have gone to shows with a boy ( a first in my life)
... I have gone to more than one show with him
... I actually go to class or i will get in trouble
... He makes sure I study, to stay in school to be near him
... He surprises me with breakfast in the morning
... He's my lil brittish boy
... He asked me to go to England.
... I get estatic when he calls
... Everything goes right when we are together
... With him I feel safe
... He is my rockstar
... He is my everything.

I am glad I was so stuck on going to this school. Other than that, I don't think I would wanna be here as much. I miss my dad and my brother so much.


Dare to Dream

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